Using a Family Credo to Develop a Shared Vocabulary
Good parenting comes from good lessons. Good lessons are built with conversations. And good conversations require a common vocabulary.
One of the greatest tools you can bring to bear in the creation of a family vocabulary is the creation of, and regular use of a family credo.
Creating a Family Credo
The process of creating a credo is as formative as using it and should include all family members. If your children are very young, include them just the same, even if you need to lead their suggestions. Their feeling of inclusion will make the credo more meaningful to them.
- Begin by brainstorming things that your family values, leaving nothing out.
- Then group similar concepts, such as ‘honor,’ ‘integrity,’ and ‘character.’
- Get very specific about definitions, use a dictionary if it helps.
- Group into a manageable number of sections.
- Pare the list down. You want to highlight what is most important to your family.
- Start putting words around the values—don’t be afraid of your inner poet.
- Make sure it is long enough to communicate what matters, but not so long you can’t use it regularly.
- Add a ‘highlights’ style conclusion that hits on each previous section.
And that’s it! You can use another credo as inspiration to get you started, as well. Ours is attached below. It is our fourth or fifth version, with a significant revision occurring every year or so.
Using a Family Credo
Using a credo is the fun and easy part. Choose a schedule that you know you can stick to, hold hands, and recite it as a family. Initially, you might have a printed copy to read, but you’ll memorize your words soon enough. We used to keep a framed copy on our dining room table so guests could follow along.
We recite our credo, holding hands, before every meal. If I’m eating with just one of my children, we say it together; if we are eating as a couple, we hold hands, look into each other’s eyes, and say it together. We say it in restaurants and picnics, when eating with friends, and when eating with strangers. We say it in foreign countries, in yurts, and railway cars.
It is part of the fabric of our lives. And whenever we have a difficulty, we reflect together on the values that we agreed upon as a family—the values that we share one thousand times a year. A parent can lecture a child that his/her actions are not consistent with our family values, but if instead, that parent can guide that child to seeing the truth for themselves, the lesson is much more apparent and much more powerful.
Our Hope For Your Family
We hope very much that you will choose to create a family credo and use it daily. It is a powerful tool that can help you raise your children to have the functional and fulfilling lives they deserve.
Right here, right now, I am grateful for the health of my mind, body, and spirit; and the beauty that surrounds me.
Every day I am grateful for the opportunity to create my destiny, which I greet with optimism, confidence, and joy.
All my life, I am grateful for the love of friends and family whom I serve with generosity, patience, and kindness.
For this moment, for this day, and for this life, I am truly grateful.
Santillo Family Credo
PS
We are currently on sabbatical and traveling full time; to honor this time and keep ourselves on track we have created a new credo specific to our journey. Read about it here.