How Integrity Affects Our Independence, Connectedness, and Resilience
To live a fulfilling life means living with integrity. Have you ever stopped to consider what “integrity” actually means? Most of us have a gut sense for the word, but to model integrity and teach it to our children, we need a succinct definition.
Integrity is the quality of being honest and whole. “Honest” means forthright and free of deceit or untruthfulness, while “whole” means fulfilling our promises to one another.
Aside from defining integrity, it also helps to know how this quality affects other areas of our life like our independence, connectedness, and resilience.
That’s what we’ll focus on in this article—the wide-reaching impact of integrity.
Integrity and Independence
By being honest with ourselves, we will be better equipped to match ourselves to jobs, situations, and projects in which we are going to excel. We will attempt that which we believe we can achieve, creating a life that challenges but does not overwhelm us.
Self-assessment also empowers us to supplement our weaknesses and build upon our strengths. Being honest with ourselves allows us to assess which path we are on, whether it be a walk in the park, a drop off a cliff, or a climb to a worthy peak.
The tasks we must get done in life are generally commitments we make with ourselves, not with others. Fulfilling these obligations to ourselves creates independence.
If we value our integrity, we will follow through on these obligations and create the ability to accomplish what we wish. We gain independence by merely going through life doing all of the tasks we set for ourselves. Experiencing these progressive and incremental successes creates confidence that we can, indeed, reach the summit of our choosing.
Integrity and Connectedness
While integrity with one’s self influences our ability to be independent, integrity with others influences our ability to be connected. No surprise, really.
When we tell the truth and fulfill our obligations, we achieve a deserved reputation for trustworthiness and dependability. These actions form the bonding agent that makes human relationships possible. Without integrity, it is impossible to establish connections in our family, friendships, romantic relationships, and professional relationships.
Conversely, if we consistently demonstrate honesty, forthrightness, trustworthiness, and dependability, our relationships will be much closer, more trusting, and longer-lasting.
We often think of maintaining integrity in dramatic terms, like remembering not to commit bank robbery or treason. This sense of scale lets us off the hook. We start to feel that our minor foibles do not count. Remove bank robbery from the scope of our assessment, and things like failing to be punctual start to come into focus.
The real work of connecting to others with integrity is in the minutiae of small, everyday acts. To the extent that we succeed in maintaining our natural state of integrity by not deceiving, or failing to be forthright, or falling short on our obligations, we will innately have the ability to connect with the people around us.
Integrity and Resilience
When confronted with circumstances that threaten the functionality and fulfillment of our lives, we can rely on our integrity to help us stand strong, adapt, and recover.
The ability to follow through on our obligations despite challenges creates strength.
Consider challenges like a last-minute realization that your boss or teacher had much grander expectations for your project than you realized or being confronted with an ailing family member who requires round-the-clock care.
In moments like these, you need strength to do what is needed, and you will create that strength by making a choice and following through on its execution. By promising yourself that you will succeed in this project, you will find a way to do so. If you promise yourself that you will care for the family member in need, you will do so.
Integrity creates strength in this way.
The second component of resilience—the ability to adapt—is equally important. Adapting is necessary when a challenge is too great to approach with mere strength, but it is sometimes difficult for us to decide whether to adapt or stand strong. In these cases, we rely on integrity to effectively self-assess.
Imagine a high school football player who loves the game and dreams of spending his life playing, then suffers an injury that makes his goal of being a professional player impossible. By correctly assessing the situation, this football player can realize that it is time to adapt and live his dream by shifting focus, perhaps by becoming an excellent coach or sports journalist, either of which could be fulfilling alternatives.
Lastly, our ability to recover is strengthened by the relationships we maintain by being people of integrity. Honesty and dependability are the fibers that bind your network of friends, family, and acquaintances tightly. Having that network of people will help us find the person who will help us when our lives hit an unexpected bump. Without integrity, there may not be a shoulder to cry on or a couch where you can crash.