Teach It With a Story

Let me tell you a story.

In Taiwan, the beaches are mostly deserted. Now, I want you to picture this: epic shores where green tropical forests on mountain peaks tumble down to blue and white rolling waves; steady sunshine streams; warm water moves rhythmically to the sand without a single threatening creature in sight. Why isn’t anyone there? If these beaches were anywhere else, they would be packed!

Well, I’ll tell you. For cultural reasons, it just isn’t done. In Taiwan, people don’t swim in the ocean. Some say that they are afraid.

Many people of this island nation do learn to swim but in a pool. In fact, they take pride in their mastery of the strokes. One such swimmer was so strong, so practiced, and skilled that he became known simply as ‘Frog.’

Frog was walking on a bluff by the ocean one day when he saw something odd. Out in the sea, some people were floating on big, white boards. They sat calmly, watching the waves. But, when a big wave came, they suddenly burst into action, paddling fast, then standing up on the board and riding it all the way to shore!

Frog had just seen surfers for the first time, and he wanted to be like them!
Resilience Parenting - Teach It With a Story

He took lessons, learned everything that he could, and went out to sea to try. At first, Frog was doing fine, having fun, and making progress. But then, all of a sudden, he got caught in a riptide!

In an instant of total fear, Frog forgot all he had learned.

The first thing he did was break away from his surfboard. He thought it was dragging him out to the deep. A big mistake!

Then Frog sprinted as fast as he could for dry land. But the water was surging out to sea with such force that Frog couldn’t fight it, even with all his super swimmer strength.

He panicked.
He forgot to breathe slowly as his instructor taught him.
Frog was drowning.

“Help!” cried Frog with his last bit of life. “Help me!”

On the beach was one old and very overweight woman from Florida. She couldn’t understand the words Frog said, but she heard his meaning clearly enough. She didn’t hesitate. Off came the muumuu, and into the water she went to help Frog.

She paddled out to him, letting the riptide take her. She calmly took hold of the young, muscular man and did what she does best—she floated. She told Frog to lie on her chest and match her breathing, slow and steady. Then she kicked, slow and steady, moving sideways to enter the currents that would naturally push them back to shore.

Guess what? They made it! And do you know what they saw? Frog’s surfboard. It followed the natural cycle of the waves and returned to the shore, just as Frog would have if he’d stayed afloat on it, rather than fighting to swim upstream.

This story conveys many meanings, don’t you think?
Resilience Parenting - Teach It With a Story

Surfing Lessons for Life

When I first heard it months ago, I was taking my first surfing lesson with my three boys. The story was meant as a tutorial to instruct us on how to handle a riptide—keep your breathing steady, don’t panic, swim to the side, and, for goodness sake, stay with your board!

As I write today, though, the story suggests a salient metaphor for survival—keeping our heads in the powerful current of a worldwide pandemic. Breathe. Stay calm. Recognize what keeps you sane and safe.

Our surf instructor in Taiwan was one of those inspired teachers who we will always remember. His enthusiasm was electric. He used props like rocks and sticks in the sand to illustrate his lesson on the landforms that create riptides. He constantly engaged us with questions, rather than lecturing. He built our confidence by practicing with several dry-runs on the shore. His coaching challenged us but did not overwhelm us.

But the best of all were his stories!

If you want to teach your children something—be it a lesson in integrity, gratitude, curiosity, humility, or surfing—stories can be the key. You can use real stories from your life, as well as stories we draw from the outside world. Fables, parables, great movies, and classic literature, they are all there waiting to help you turn your lectures into exciting tales of struggle, joy, pain, defeat, and triumph.

Book Club Time

Resilience Parenting - Teach It With a Story
The boys preparing for that surfing lesson—seven years ago!

Taking my own advice this morning, I paused before lecturing my son about his poor behavior. Instead of that old routine, I looked into memory for a story about generosity. Ah ha! “Does anyone remember the Pine Tree Parable we used to read every Christmastime?” My son did, and with sweet innocence, he did most of the retelling. By the end of the story, many of us were in tears.

After telling your tale, teach by using the same kind of prompting questions that you might use in a book club. Help your children make connections to their own lives. What do you think we are supposed to learn from this story? Why did the character act the way he did? Was there a better way? What would you have told him to do?

(Or, do you see a good reason for being generous and sharing toys with your brothers in the future?)

May we parents use stories to INSPIRE rather than lectures that require!

Thanks to all the folks at Wagaligong Surf School in Dulan, Taiwan, who left a lasting mark on our memories with their passionate enthusiasm for teaching.

Your lessons are helping me even today.

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